Grace Community Church How to Read People Like a Book
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August 31, 2003

Relational Intelligence:
How to Read People Like a Book

John Ortberg
teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church



  • Learning to read the "signs" in a person.

  • Proverbs 20:27 The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.

  • How "tuned in" are you?

  • Several relational "Rules of the Road"
    1. Stop...
      Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

    2. Yield...
      James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

    3. Road Closed...
      Revelation 3:21 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.
      (Avoid pressuring, bullying, manipulating, guilt-tripping, etc.)

    4. Caution...
      Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
      (The three laws of relationship: observation, observation, observation)

    5. Go...
      Proverbs 25:11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

  • Every day you see faces, and behind each face is a heart that beats with life God put there...
    Will you love me?
    Will you celebrate with me?
    Will you comfort me?
    Will you challenge me?
    Will you encourage me?
    Will you confront me?
    Will you correct me?