My Beloved
This week has been a hard week for me. For no particular reason, my thoughts have been consumed with memories of my brother and with wishing that he were still here. I have just felt really sad and really alone. This morning I was laying in bed and the lyrics of My Beloved kept playing over and over in my head, “You’re my beloved, you’re my bride. To sing over you is my delight.” This song was stuck in my head through out the day.
I went to the gym, and after my work out I met a lady named Charlotte. She walked up behind me and said, “Is that a child?” People always mistake me for a 12 year old so I just looked up at her with a confused stare. She clarified by pointing at the T-shirt I was wearing. The shirt had been made by some of my brother’s friends in his memory. We started talking about my brother and my life after his death. It turns out Charlotte had also lost a brother and has had a hard time dealing with it. She was telling me that her biggest struggle is wanting to know why. I have dealt with why…Get no where with why…Daily struggle to get beyond asking why. I told her that I had to give up on asking why and the way that I was able to do that was by clinging to the hope that I had in God. “I sing over you my song of peace. Cast all of your cares down at my feet. Come and find your rest in Me.”
Charlotte looked really confused by my answer but before I could explain further, she sat her book and water bottle down and gave me a hug. I laid my head on her shoulder and we just stood there. “You’re my beloved, you’re my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come and find your rest in me.” I became really emotional, because at this moment when I was so low, God did something really beautiful. He used me to share about how He was my only source of strength, and at the same time He was using Charlotte to remind me of that exact same thing! God reminded me, “I’ll breathe My life inside of you. I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings and hide you in the shadow of My strength. I’ll take you to my quiet waters. I’ll restore your soul. Come rest in Me and be made whole.”
I am completely amazed at how God loves me (and you) and goes to great lengths to comfort me, complete me, give me peace…restore my soul.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:59 am
God always puts in our path what we need.